This process of getting into shape for my trip to the UK is a curious study in paradigm shifts, and at times I find myself a surprised spectator to my own process of transformation. Let me explain…
When I was a kid, the only things I was praised for were intellectual pursuits. If I did well in school, if I read a book well beyond my age group, or if I performed well in front of friends or family at social gatherings, on those occasions I was told I was good and loved. Sports were never an option for me (jocks and cheerleaders are at the bottom of the heap in literati circles), and when I tried to explore an interest in something more physically active like tap dance or scouting, I was told in so many words that carting me to my lessons or meetings was a great imposition upon my parents. No wonder, then, that my enthusiasm soon waned and I dropped out again and again.
Now that I am a forty-something adult, and with the experience of caring for an elderly grandmother who is dying by inches, I regret that I didn’t do something, ANYTHING more physical when I was younger. All things considered, I’m in pretty good shape, but the writing on the wall is pretty clear that if I want to enjoy my elder years in a active manner I need to act now.
My return to England is part of the whole life-makeover I’m in the midst of performing, part of the mid-life crisis I recently began and have committed to. I’ve never done anything as physically demanding as walking 80-odd miles in a week, but if I can do that, if I can prepare myself, train for it and actually go and do it then I can do anything. But not all of the changes I need to make are physical.
The psychological changes I need to make involve overcoming prejudices handed down from my mother and grandmother. Mom has always been a couch potato, and my grandmother was traumatized by her parents who were uber-hikers back in the 1920′s. Specifically, she was made to walk some seven or eight miles up a steep canyon when she was only six years old, and she’s never gotten over her mental mind-block associating walking and hiking with physical torment.
I understand this. I get it. But that is ancient history and has nothing to do with me. Seems obvious, perhaps, but anyone who has tried to escape preconceived notions imposed upon us by our elders knows that just because something is obvious doesn’t make it easy to overcome. “Honor thy mother and thy father,” and all that.
Part of the difficulty stems from the fact that our earliest sense of identity comes from our parents and our families. As children we are told who we are and where we come from, and those messages stay with us for the rest of our lives whether they are true or not.
So here I go, walking and hiking and having a blast, pushing the envelope of what I think I can do and reveling in the thrill of it all. At the same time I’m wrestling with the mental scripts I’ve inherited from my elders telling me that I should be suffering and miserable, loathing the mere notion of walking ten or fifteen miles in a day, much less hiking the steep, switch-back trails to the tops of my local mountains.
But I’m stubborn (or tenacious), and I have spent thousands of dollars booking the reservations for this trip. I don’t want that money to be wasted, and the siren song of a new adventure pulls at me like the come-hither look of a passionate lover.
And maybe that’s what will make the difference in the end – desire. The desire to free myself from tapes and ideas and preconceived notions that have nothing to do with who I really am. The desire to seek out new people and adventures the way I have always dreamed. But more than anything, the desire to live, truly live, and to cherish each moment I am given.
That’s not such a bad notion, is it?
B.
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Part of my re-learning experience has involved getting better information than I was given while growing up. This book in particular has tied together things I had read, heard, or been told over the past umpteen years. It is surprisingly dense, but lightly written so as to be enjoyable. Best of all, it dispels many of the most common myths about weight loss, weight gain, and makes the whole business finally make sense!
If that isn’t enough of a recommendation, how about this: I’m reading it through for the third time…
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